Fourteen Steps Backwards….

It’s been two weeks now since I’ve taken my diet seriously.

I also haven’t exercised in two weeks. TWO WEEKS!

How have I let that happen? How have I forgotten the stress relief and euphoria that regular exercise was bringing me?

Where did my enthusiasm for cooking healthy meals and planning my grocery escapades go?

I know that lags are normal in these journeys. It’s just a scary feeling. To know you need to get back on track, and yet not feel the motivation to do so.

It’s also a very discouraging feeling to realize that I haven’t made any true habits during my several months “on track.”

This is the point where it all seems hopeless.

I guess I need to spend some dedicated time to refinding my motivation and get my butt back to work creating habits.


I am actively trying to avoid writing/saying things like: “…back on my diet” or “eating bad things” or any other negative wording you can think of relating to food/nutrition/exercise. If you happen to read one in my post – please leave a comment and let me know. I’d like to weed them out of my vocabulary and writing alike.


You Are What You Eat

/insert apology about not having posted for a month and proceed with explanation of last ~30 days/

It’s been a whirlwind month. Filled with vacations and house listings and general drama. But – let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

In the middle of March, I went to N.C. to visit my aunt. She was born and raised in Michigan, but let me tell you, she has fully grasped the “southern hospitality” attitude…especially with food. I tried to make as healthful decisions as I could, but I have to admit it was extremely difficult. The good news, though, was that the weather was so nice that I ran almost every day I was there (I missed two days due to weather/travel). When I got home – while I hadn’t lost any weight – I didn’t gain any either, so I called it a win.

Here’s my findings:

  1. What they say is true. You are what you eat. After a week in N.C. enjoying “southern comfort” – I felt like a ton of bricks. Not that my weight (or measurements) had fluctuated up or down – but I could feel the food weighing me down. It felt like sludge running through my veins.
  2. It’s hard to understand that truth until after you’ve experienced it. If you can eat whole foods for a week, and then go back to fast food or fatty food or whatever you were eating and intentionally track how you feel – I promise you it’ll be a big difference. However, it’s easy to over look if you’re bustling around your busy life.
  3. Once you slip back into the “sludge” (as I am now referring to it) – it is a struggle to come back out. It’s just like quick sand. Even if you logically know that exercising and eating right makes you feel better (emotionally, mentally, physically), the sludge makes you lethargic and de-energized and lazy.

In other news – my husband and I are selling our house. We’ve had enough of our noisy, ignorant neighbors. The house went on the market yesterday morning and we already have two confirmed showings. The problem is – it’s really hard to exercise and cook and just live in a house that has to be constantly perfect in case someone wants to see it. It’s a new item to balance and I have to admit that I’m struggling with it. My husband and I have been just going out to eat to avoid getting pots and pans out and the kitchen a mess. By my latest weigh in, I’ll say that has to stop! And with Easter coming up this week – it’s just a month long saga of never-ending busy-ment and poor choices.

Baby steps….


Honesty: The Best Policy

I’ve been hesitating to write this post.

Mostly because of my 2nd to last post.

I can feel myself slipping. I’m stating to track less and less, especially after dinner.

I haven’t felt like cooking all weekend. And I haven’t been cooking all weekend.

I’ve been making frozen pizzas and ordering take out.

I’ve been trying to harden my resolve. To push my willpower to its limits.

But I just can’t seem to care. Which is ridiculous, because it’s not like I’m not making progress.

And it’s DEFINITELY not that I am not motivated by my progress. I am.

But I think it’s more so how much I am unmotivated by my lack of progress.

My husband took a picture of my back this weekend, and when I looked at it, I cringed.

It wasn’t pretty. And it made me feel like all of my dieting and exercising and tracking has been for nothing.

67 days – for nothing?

It’s terrible that I feel that way! I should be proud of my progress and of my commitment.

But I’m just not. I’m still not “thin.” I still don’t look the way I think I should, so it leaves me just so frustrated.


Lent Begins

Ash Wednesday.

The start of sacrifice and reflection.

I’ll be honest – last year I skipped this part of the holiday.

I ignored it and coddled myself by saying I was “too busy.”

I understand what a load of crock that was.

So – this year, I’m giving up my snooze button.

It is one of the most selfish and hurtful things I do to myself.

I sleep. Always. As much as I can.

I stopped getting up and reading my Bible.

I stopped getting up and clearing my head.

I stopped getting up and working out.

I stopped getting up and making my hardworking husband breakfast and lunch.

I just slept. Overslept, actually.

And then I rushed.

And then I was cranky.

And so I am giving up my snooze button. So that I can be better prepared for my day.

So I can be more patient with others.

So I can be more loving to my friends and coworkers and strangers.

So I can get my workouts done first thing.

So I can feel accomplished.

So I can show my love for my husband through little actions.

5am doesn’t seem so bad anymore…


Two Steps Forward and One Step Back

I’ve been making progress.

25lbs has turned into 30lbs.

Tracking my food has become a mindless habit.

Picking wholeful foods has become more a hobby than a burden.

Not to say I don’t have setbacks.

Like today, I’m not tracking or counting anything.

But –  I think it’s good to have a cheat day. Which isn’t to say I’m stuffing my face, I’m just not tracking the exact intake.

And last week, I had a tailbone injury and didn’t work out once. But I’m back at it this week. And it wasn’t hard to get back into the swing of it.

I feel like I’m becoming better prepared, like I’ve finally figured it out.

It feels so good.



As of this morning, I’ve lost 25lbs!

It’s a pretty big milestone and quiet a motivator.

However, I have to say. It is a little depressing to know that still, at my current weight, I’m only back to where I started.

But – I shouldn’t let that deter me. Right?

In other news – I’ve picked up a weight training regime.

I really, really like it. So, I bought some Select Tech weights as a reward. /smiles/